Inuyasha and the Jerry Springer show
by jokhazen
Summary: Find out what happens when the Inuyasha gang gets on the Jerry Springer show, loads of surprises ahead. MirInu
1. Chapter 1

**Inuyasha and the Jerry Springer show**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any Inuyasha characters sniff and I don't know Jerry... I'm like obsessed with the show, mainly Miroku so I'll be focusing a lot on him MU HA HA cough cough cough oh excuse me cough cough, waves hand go read...

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(Audience claps and cheers, Inuyasha is sitting in the first chair alone pissed off.)

Jerry: Good morning everyone tonight we are going to be meeting with a very interesting group, and strange group. (audience claps) The first member we are about to meet is a half demon named Inuyasha. (some girls from the audience jump up and flash him.)

Inuyasha: O.O' what the?

Jerry: He he ok ok… that's enough… Anyway his goal is to kill this looks at paper Na-ra-ku is it? (Inuyasha nods) But today we aren't going to be talking about life goals we are going to be talking about Inuyasha's and his friends lives... Inuyasha has a secret that he's never told anyone and has hid it quite well over the last couple of months.

Inuyasha: WHAT! I DID NOT AGREE TO THAT!

Jerry: yes you did…

Inuyasha: SHUT UP YOU BASTARD I'M NOT GOING TO BE HUMILIATED INFRONT OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE!

Jerry: um… actually it's millions but-

Inuyasha: -.-' what do you want Jerry?

Jerry: give us a hint Inuyasha about this secret of yours… (shows him a contract which is hidden from the audience.)

Inuyasha: (nose flares) fine… I'm not interested in Kagome ok?

Jerry: Well let's meet our first guest shall we… She considers herself an ordinary school girl and she is in love with this half demon that suddenly changed his mind for a suspicious reason.

Inuyasha: THERE'S NOTHING SUSPICIOUS ABOUT IT OK! (gets up and lifts a chair)

Jerry: Woah Inuyasha not yet none of your friends have entered the room.

Inuyasha: Your point?

Jerry: (backs away) uh ok BRING IN THE FIRST VICTIM! Uh… I mean person...FRIEND!

Inuyasha: (stretches his neck to see the person coming in) Huh?

Kagome: Inuyasha? What's going on?

Jerry: Go ahead Inuyasha tell her.

Inuyasha: (sets down the chair and sits on it) Uh Kagome… um…I- I- I don't have feelings for you anymore.

Kagome! WHAT! INUYASHA! (throws a chair at him)

(audience: OOOOOOOOOOO)

Inuyasha: (to the audience) SHUT UP!

Kagome: SIT! (Inuyasha falls flat on floor very hard) SIT SIT SIT! (Inuyasha goes deeper in the wood.)

Jerry: O.O uh… ok that's new…

Inuyasha: STOOOOP! (gets up in pain) stupid girl…

Kagome: SIT! (Inuyasha falls again) How could you do this Inuyasha! It's Kikyo isn't it! ISN'T IT!

Inuyasha: (rubs his head) ow… NO IT'S NOT KIKYO KAGOME!

Kagome: (smacks him) THEN WHO ELSE WOULD IT BE!

Inuyasha: … (mumbles) someone else…

Kagome: WHO?

Jerry: yes Inuyasha wh- (Inuyasha gives him a death glare) uh… COMMERCIAL!

Camera man: IT'S TOO EARLY FOR A COMMERCIAL (camera man gets hit with a microphone)

Jerry: COMMERCIAL! NOW!

(commercial with dancing bananas for about 5 mins)

(audience claps as the camera comes close to the two people glaring at each other at opposite ends of the stage.)

Jerry: Welcome back if you're just tuning in Inuyasha, a half demon, has just told his girlfriend, Kagome, a school girl, that he no longer has feelings for her. Now we will see why he suddenly had a change of heart. Lets bring out another one out mystery guests! He's a little fox demon who is very observant considering his size.

(From backstage Shippo: what's that supposed to mean!)

Jerry: Please welcome Shippo!

(Shippo comes running on stage and sits beside Inuyasha)

Shippo: Hi Jerry!

Jerry: Hi Shippo how are you?

audience: GET ON WITH IT!

Jerry: O.O OKAY!... anyway Shippo you said you have been noticing changes in Inuyasha, would you explain when this started and what kind of changes?

(Inuyasha glares at Shippo but poor Shippo doesn't notice)

Shippo: Sure! …

(everyone sits on edge of their seats listening…5 minutes pass)

Jerry: O.o well?

Shippo: oh right now?

Jerry: YES!

Shippo: ohhh… ok… Well I noticed Inuyasha acting strange last month. He was avoiding Sango and Miroku a lot and spending more time than usual by himself. But every time either one of us asks what's wrong he explodes, he nearly killed Mir- (gets pounded on the head with Inuyasha's fist)

Jerry: And have you any idea why he's been acting so peculiar? (Inuyasha lifts up the fox demon by the tail)

Shippo: N-not a clue!

Jerry: Well we will soon find out whe-

Kagome: IT'S SANGO! OMG INUYASHA HOW COULD YOU! (throws doughnut at him)

Inuyasha: (blocks flying doughnut) NO IT'S NOT SANGO KAGOME! LAY OFF! AND KEEP YOUR NUT DOUGHS TO YOURSELF!

Jerry: Well let's bring Sango out and ask her ourselves shall we? She's a demon slayer, who has been secretly admiring the monk, Miroku, (from back stage Sango: DON'T YOU KNOW THE MEANING OF SECRET!) could she really be having an affair with the half-demon well stay tuned to find out.

(Kagome is crying her head off, Inuyasha is threatening Shippo and Jerry is trying to yank the microphone away from an obsessed audience fan girl)

(condom commercial:

Mr. Condom: Remember kids! Always wear a condom when sticking your yoohoo's in strange places. And remember have fun! Sponsored by Miroku! Miroku pops up holding a condom and smiling and dancing banana's in the background

end commercia)

(camera's move and audience clap Jerry is looking at the TV where the commercial just ended)

Jerry: …O.o that… that was odd…Anyway! (Inuyasha, Shippo and Kagome all stare at the TV)

Kagome: Pervert…

Shippo: Hope Sango didn't see that (hears a smack from back stage) >. '

Jerry: if your just tuning in… tough… Let's bring in our third mystery guest shall we!

(Sango comes on stage in her demon slayer outfit skin tight, lots of boys holler and whistle and flash her, she looks at them like O.O and sits next to Shippo.)

Jerry: Hello Sango is it?

Sango: Yes…

Jerry: Well we know so far that you are secretly in love with a so called Miroku- wait.. wasn't he just-

All: yes…

Jerry: … oh… um… ok… yeah so (looks at the screen) wow… ok so are you?

Sango: (blushes) well… I guess I am Jerry, I've never met anyone like Miroku he's kind, smart handsome, but he has one flaw.

Jerry: (staring at the TV) uh what… sorry didn't catch that…

Sango: -.- ...yes Jerry I like him…

Inuyasha: (humph) even if he touches every girl he can get his hands on?

Sango: I agree he does have a flaw but- JERRY PAY ATTENTION!

Jerry: huh sorry… it's just that was so… weird…Ok you love Miroku he has a flaw which is?

Sango: he's a pervert…

Jerry: clearly…

Inuyasha: (humph)

Kagome: YOU ASKED THAT QUESTION TO GET SANGO TO NOT LIKE HIM IS THAT IT YOU WANT SANGO! (throws another doughnut)

Sango: WHAT!

Inuyasha: NO THAT'S NOT IT KAGOME!

Jerry: Well let's bring out final guest shall we the infamous monk Miroku!

(Inuyasha blushes, audience claps and cheers some girls jump up and flash him, and two flew to the stage only to be dragged off by security, Miroku walks out smiling and waving, he sits in between Kagome and Sango.)

Jerry: Welcome Miroku how are you?

Miroku: Very well Jerry, I must say you have a beautiful audience some girls faint in the audience

Jerry: uh… thank you… I think… Now since the entire gang is reunited it's time for the unveiling of Inuyasha's dark long kept secret. Inuyasha, you said you have no more feelings for Kagome correct?

Inuyasha: (bears fangs)

Jerry: uh… ok… and you did mention there was someone else… is this someone else on stage right now?

Inuyasha: …yes…

Kagome: I KNEW IT! (throws doughnut at Sango)

Sango: Hey! What did I do?

Kagome: YOU'VE BEEN SECRETLY HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH INUYASHA!

Miroku: What! Sango… How could you… I mean really…

Sango: MIROKU I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!

Inuyasha: It's not Sango Kagome!

Kagome: IF IT'S NOT SANGO AND NOT ME WHO THEN WHO? THERE AREN'T ANYMORE GIRLS HERE INUYASHA!

Inuyasha: (looks down)

Kagome: O.O…

(audience gasps)

Jerry: oooo…

Shippo: What? Wha? What's happening… why is everyone looking freaky? WHAT HAPPENED?

Inuyasha: Just shut up Shippo…

Kagome: IT'S SHIPPO? OMG INUYASHA HOW COULD YOU! HE'S JUST A CHILD!

(audience laughs and some fall out of their chairs, Miroku is like OO)

Sango: OMG MIROKU!

Miroku: wha? (gets hit with a chair) ow! WTF?

Inuyasha: HE DIDN'T KNOW DON'T HIT HIM!

Kagome: Know what?... (pauses for a few minutes) OMG! (hits Miroku with another chair) YOU THING!

Inuyasha: Kagome! HE DIDN'T KNOW!

(Kagome throws chair at Inuyasha)

Kagome: YOU'RE GAY?

Inuyasha: YEAH! GOT A PROBLEM?

Kagome: (being held back by security) YEAH! YOU LEFT ME FOR A GUY! AND MIROKU OF ALL PEOPLE!

Inuyasha: WHAT'S WRONG WITH MIROKU?

Kagome: HE DOESN'T DESERVE YOU!

Miroku: oh come now… there is plenty of me to go around…(get's hit by Sango and Kagome)

Sango: MIROKU HOW CAN YOU NOT MIND?

Miroku: I-I never said that…

Jerry: … ooo…ehem… well… lets settle this… We'll take a break…Stay tuned!

(leaves off everyone arguing Sango choking Miroku while security tries to get her off him, Kagome sitting Inuyasha while security is like "wha? O.o". Shippo is sitting on his chair almost asleep)

(commercial:

a blank screen is seen and then a monkey walks and sits in the middle of it… for about 7 minutes the monkey scratches his ass and eats a banana… then dancing banana's in the background and a smiling Miroku holding a condom.

Mr. Condom: Remember kids don't be a monkey, use a condom! Sponsored by Miroku

end commercial)

(camera turns to loads of clapping and cheering and then to the 5 people on the stage who finally calmed down. They sit and glare at one another except for Shippo who is asleep and Miroku who refuses to make eye contact with anyone.)

Jerry: Well we're ba-

Miroku: IT SOUNDED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME OKAY! THE MONKEY WAS CONVINCING! (all stare)… oh… sorry…

Jerry: Uh… well… Anyway we're ba-

Inuyasha: IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU CAN'T CONTROL WHO YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH! (all stare)… feh…

Jerry: …O.o…we are ba-

Sango: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU INUYASHA! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?

Inuyasha: I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING INTENTIONAL SANGO! (pause)

Jerry: … ok if everyone would just calm down and let me –

Kagome: THIS IS NOT RIGHT! HE'S A GUY! A GUY!

Jerry: ok… now really!

Shippo: I need a doughnut…

Jerry: We-

Miroku: WOULD EVERYONE STOP FIGHTING OVER ME!

Jerry: I-

Sango: SHUT UP THIS DOESN'T CONCERN YOU MIROKU!

Jerry: well-

Inuyasha: YES IT DOES! I LOVE HIM!

Jerry: SHUT UP AND LET ME SPEAK! (all stare) thank you… now no more interu-

Miroku: You do Inuyasha?

Jerry: AHHHHGGGGGHHH

Inuyasha: yes…

(audience go aw)

Jerry: SHUT UP JUST SHUT UP! ALL OF YOU! (points to the audience) YOU AW WHEN I TELL YOU! (all stare) right… now… (straightens his suit) welcome back we've been talking to the Inuyasha gang as you might have noticed and there is a bit of heat going through each of these confused people… except for the fox who has no clue what has been happening (grins)

Shippo: (stuffing a doughnut in his mouth) whaf?

Jerry: anyway… so tell us inuyasha how do you feel?

Inuyasha: (staring at Miroku, while Sango and Kagome give him death glares) … better… now that's it's out in the open…

Jerry: what about you Miroku? Do you feel the same as Inuyasha? Do you love him?

Miroku: (glances at Sango then at Kagome, then at Shippo… which was pointless, then at Inuyasha) I…I… I don't know…

(audience gasps)

Miroku: (to audience) SHUT UP!

(audience gasps again)

Miroku: (looks away)… It's…hard being me… Knowing I'm going to die by this wicked curse, I told myself I wouldn't hurt anyone by letting them fall in love with me… But that was inevitable of course…

Jerry: … yes… so… Inuyasha do you think that because you know Miroku is going to die soon that you have developed this love for a friend… (looks at Inuyasha's chair but is not there, looks at Miroku's chair and Inuyasha is crying on Miroku's lap and Miroku has his hands up careful not to touch him and looking like O.O)

Sango: oh I see… you pity him… aw we all do Inuyasha…

Miroku: what?

Kagome: oh it's not love it's pity ok I feel much better now

Miroku: WHAT! YOU PITY ME!

Inuyasha: (makes a loud sniff) No I love you (and begins to cry again)

Miroku: WAIT WHY DO YOU GIRLS PITY ME?

Kagome: because your gonna die soon…

Inuyasha: (jumps up and throws a half eaten doughnut at Kagome) DON'T SAY THAT!

Jerry: hey that was mine! Anyway… Sango are you willing to give Miroku to Inuyasha?

Miroku: WHAT AM I FURNITURE?

Sango: I LOVE MIROKU! NO I'M NOT! (pulls inuyasha off of Miroku and hugs Miroku)

Inuyasha: YOU BITCH!

Sango: (gasps) I-nu-yasha!

Miroku: no stop I cannot allow this to go any further (stands in between them, security guard backs him off)

Guard: excuse me this is my job…

Miroku: (looks at a very tall bald muscular man and gulps) oh… sorry…

Inuyasha: YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH IT HURTS ME WHEN HE GRABS YOUR BEHIND!

Sango: THAT IS NOT A VERY NICE THING TO DO!

Inuyasha: THEN YOU HAVE THE GAUL TO SLAP HIM!

Miroku: well… I don't really mind… really it doesn't hurt THAT much…

Sango: oh really! Well how about this (slaps him very hard)

(audience go ooooo)

Inuyasha: (gasps) DON'T EVER TOUCH HIM AGAIN!

Kagome: Sango…

Shippo: ouch…

Sango: (loks at Miroku who looks hurt) I'm so sorry Miroku! I didn't mean-

Jerry: well that's all the time we've got for now-

All: WHAT!

Audience: WHAT! (throws chairs, food, drinks and mobiles at him)

Jerry: OW! OW ! owwwwwwww! FINE! (all stare) ok ok… sorry… my watch must be fast… hehe (all evil glares) um… well… Miroku what do you say about Sango hitting you like that… just now… in front of your friends…

Miroku: well… I-

Jerry: In front of these people…(points to the audience)

Miroku: uh… I-

Jerry: not to mention the cameras where millions of people watched you…

Miroku: um….-

Jerry: get slapped…

Miroku: ... are you done?

Jerry: yes…

Miroku: I'm sorry… I can't think right now… I can't decide… Not now…

Jerry: (leans in and shows contract and whispers) you have to… get movin…grins at everyone…

Miroku: (sighs) I'm sorry Sango…

Sango: (eyes fill with tears) W-what?

Miroku: I don't think you love me… I think you just like the games… You never planned to take this to more…

Sango: (falls on her knees and grabs the front of Miroku's robes) n-no Miroku…. I'm so sorry it was just instinct-

(audience go ooooooo)

Jerry: ah so you have done this a lot to poor Miroku?

Sango: (looks at Jerry) you know you're not really helping here…

(Inuyasha dashes and pulls Sango off of Miroku's robes and embraces Miroku)

Miroku: uh…

Inuyasha: I love you and I will kill Naraku for you… (kisses him)

(audience go: awwww… ooooo… eh?)

Kagome: (gasps) HE'S LEFT ME FOR A FRIGGIN GUY! (tries to yank Inuyasha) off GET OFF OF HIM! INUUUYAAAAASHAAAAA!

Sango: (cries) HE'S LEFT ME FOR AN IDIOT!

Shippo: ew… um… I think the animator has his characters mixed up… (taps the screen)

Jerry: aw how… odd… oh well… See you next time when we meet Inuyasha's half brother…Lord Sesshoumaru! And their arch enemy Naraku. (grins... pauses… to the camera man) are we off air yet?

(camera shows Inuyasha hugging Miroku's waist and Miroku looking surprised and shocked. Sango is crying hanging on to Miroku's back robes nearly pulling them off. Kagome's choking one of the camera men because he got in her face. Shippo's stealing another doughnut from Jerry. Jerry chasing the fox.)

(commercial:

voice: tired of brushing your hair every morning? Well why not try the easy to use Hair-be-gone shaving kit… every kit includes a large, medium, and small razor, and… that's about it…you just need to buy everything else needed for a nice bald head. But wait act now and you get a packet of Miroku's condoms FREE! Yes Miroku's condoms a 20 dollar value absolutely FREE! Call now!... To order Hair-be-gone shaving kit call

1-800-hairbegoneshavingkitsponseredbymiroku call now and you'll get a free packet of Miroku's condoms absolutely FREE! You must be 4 or older to call)

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A/N: Hum... Well hope you enjoyed it there is another one coming so if you liked it check back and please review   



	2. Chapter 2

**Inuyasha And The Jerry Springer Show Part Deux**

camera shows audience clapping, Jerry looking at the 5 people on stage, Inuyasha is clinging on Miroku's arm, Miroku trying to tug his arm back, Shippo sitting on Sango's head and watching Inuyasha, Sango and Kagome both giving death glares to Miroku

Jerry: Welcome every one to the Jerry Springer show! audience claps Thank you thank you! Now last time on the show we met Inuyasha here, girl screams, and flashes him um… and we learned that he is gay. girl, still holding her shirt up screams and faints Yup…

Inuyasha: I don't love MEN in general… I only love Miroku looks at Miroku admiringly, while Miroku looks scared but gave a nervous smile

Jerry: that sill makes you gay…

Sango: Can we get on with it please…

Jerry: yes of course now, we are going to be introducing some new guests to the show. But before that, the audience wants to know what has been going on between you and Miroku since out last encounter?

Kagome: Inuyasha has been all over Miroku that's what happened. I don't even think Miroku likes Inuyasha that way.

Jerry: Is that true Miroku?

Miroku: gulps uh…

Inuyasha: OF COURSE HE LOVES ME! He just has trouble showing it.

Shippo: Oh come on Inuyasha look at him shippo points at Miroku who is giving nervous glances at nothing

Inuyasha: he just doesn't like being in front of people that's all…

Jerry: So you say Kagome Inuyasha has been all over Miroku… What about Miroku has he been responding to these… actions?

Kagome: Uh… I'm not really sure, I think so.

Jerry: Miroku let's get it out in the open, do you have feelings for Inuyasha.

Miroku: O.O … uh… everyone on stage stares um… everyone in the audience stares and leans forward ehh… some people in the audience fall forward

Sango: GET ON WITH IT MIROKU! JUST YES OR NO!

Miroku: looks at Inuyasha I-I'm not sure…

Inuyasha: MIROKU! I'm there for you all the time, I love you, how can you not be sure. gets hit with a flying cookie OW!

Kagome: Sorry they were out of doughnuts…

Inuyasha: gives nasty glare at kagome, then turns to Miroku isn't what you told me in the cave when you were screaming my name, true?

audience OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Jerry: WOAH! WHAT! Ok this is getting better? Inuyasha what are you talking about… please detail if you don't mind… Jerry's wife throws purse at Jerry ( I don't even know he has a wife but oh well) OW! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU WOMAN!

Jerry's Wife: PERV!

Jerry: YOU SHUT UP! Now… straightens his suit you were saying?

Inuyasha: takes Miroku's hand You said you did love me, actually you screamed it, but-

Miroku: I was in a state… I probably didn't know what I was saying at the time…

audience go ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Kagome: WAIT A MINUTE! Where the hell were we? points at Sango, Shippo and herself

Miroku: We… Said we were collecting firewood, you might have fallen asleep.

Inuyasha: Miroku you are the best lover I've ever had miroku blushes

Audience: ooooooooooooooo ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…. Eeeeeeeeeeee

Miroku: Inuyasha this is private….

Inuyasha: IF YOU DON'T LOVE ME THEN HOW THE HELL CAN YOU MAKE LOVE TO ME?

audience: ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Inuyasha: OH WILL YOU SHUT UP!

Jerry: ehem… I see tension is building up… lovely time for a commercial wouldn't you say Ed?

Ed, camera man: No…

Jerry: gritted teeth well do it anyway…

Ed: I donn wanna…

Jerry: throws Jerry wife's purse at Ed DO IT!

Ed: makes obscene gesture, and cuts to commercial

commercial

Man 1: hey Bill aren't you tiered of being stupid?

Man 2: Yea… But I don't think I can do anything about my stupidity.

Man 1: Yes you can! Because now there is… holds out packet New and Improved Miroku condoms!

Man 2: WOW I loved the old Miroku Condoms what's new with these?

Man 1: … it has a pretty pink flower on the corner of the box smiles very very widly I'm just hoping some deaf guy would see this commercial and think it's new. Just shut up and keep smiling! smiles even wider

Man 2: ok… smiles, and holds a packet of Miroku's condoms

Man 1: through smiling I hope he got the picture… did you know these hardly ever work? still smiling

Man 2: what does this have to do with being smart then?

Man 1: Oh sorry I forgot to tell you, your case is hopeless…

Man 2: --

dancing banana's in the background and Miroku smiling

camera shows the five people on stage, audience claps

Sango: exactly how many of those did you do?

Miroku: … I don't know…

Kagome: you do realize that didn't make any sense right?

Miroku: … maybe…

Inuyasha: what's with the dancing bananas!

Miroku: … blushes it was either that or dancing lobsters okay… and I personally don't like lobsters, bad experience.

Jerry: Oo… ANYWAY!...

Shippo: what happened to the monkey?

Jerry: …

Miroku: oh he found a better job…

Jerry: O.o right… so we are back with the Inuyasha gang… Lets meet out first guest shall we? He's a full demon and doesn't have a problem killing anyone in his way, he is also Inuyasha's half brother, and apparently isn't too happy with Inuyasha's decision to be with Miroku, lets see why not? Give it up for SESSHOUMARU! audience cheers loads of girls flash him but he doesn't even look at them, and sits down between Miroku and Sango.

Jerry: Welcome Sesshoumaru-

Sesshoumaru: LORD Sesshoumaru…

Jerry: … uh… yes… Lord Sesshoumaru… Uh… Lord… You don't approve of this Inuyasha and Miroku coupling how come?

Sesshoumaru: Well, I still don't know why I have to explain myself to you Jerry.

Jerry: leans in, and show's contract

Sesshoumaru: -- uh hu well I have many reasons I find this inappropriate Jerry, one of which is that this… this human is going to die soon and doesn't deserve to have a love.

Inuyasha: gets up and punches Sesshoumaru, but Sesshoumaru blocks the punch YOU ASS!

Sesshoumaru: oh come now Inuyasha no need for violence face the fact that there is no point loving something if it's not going to live very long.

audience: gasp ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Jerry: this is a violence tv show so… yes there is a need for violence…

Inuyasha: HE WILL LIVE SESSHOUMARU!

Miroku: he does have a point Inuyasha…

Inuyasha: turns quickly to miroku HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT!

Sesshoumaru: Miroku can only be used as a toy, not something you love, I've had him, Inuyasha shoots a shocked glance at Sesshoumaru even though I have to admit he was fun to play with, but he isn't anything more. Just a toy.

Miroku: gasp YOU SWORE SESSHOUMARU!

Sesshoumaru: I'm a demon, it doesn't matter, you should have thought about that before you gave in, which I might add was very easy to make you do.

Inuyasha: gaps at miroku you-y-you had sex with MY BROTHER!

Miroku: well… I wouldn't call it-

Sesshoumaru: yes…

audience gaps oooooo

Sango: OMG MIROKU WHAT KIND OF PERVERTED MONK ARE YOU? gets up and slaps him

Miroku: IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO! IT WAS A MISTAKE! I'M SORRY!

Kagome: OMG OMG OMG! throws cookie at him

Miroku: ow… CUT THAT OUT!

Jerry: wow… well… I have a simple solution to all your problems…

All: look at Jerry, girls were crying, Sesshoumaru glaring, Inuyasha outraged, Miroku's face buried in his hands, and Shippo eating the cookie

Jerry: time for a commercial….

Inuyasha: THAT'S IT THAT'S YOUR SOLUTION?

Jerry: well… yeah…

cuts to commercial just as inuyasha leaps at Jerry in midair

commercial

Man 1: Well, we're back…

Man 2: I see… Now what?

Man 1: I don't know … What's up?

Man 2: --

Man 1: …

Man 2: leaves

Man 1: Hey! Where are you going?

Man 2: you suck…

Man 1: suck what?

Man 3: hi…

Man 1: Hi…

Man 3: … what are we supposed to do-stage light falls on Man 3's head

Man 1: well… um… holds packet in front of camera BUY MIROKU'S CONDOMS!

end commercial

camera shows the audience clapping and the 6 people on stage, Inuyasha is in a straight jacket, Jerry's glasses are broken and crooked, Sesshoumaru's smiling for the first time, Miroku is giving nervous glances at the open window, Shippo is sleeping, Sango is about to strangle Miroku, Kagome is crying.

Jerry: trying to straighten himself out Erm… yes uh welcome back to the show, we have here the Inuyasha gang and Inuyasha's half brother Sesshoumaru… sesshoumaru glares LORD Sesshoumaru I mean… eh he…

Inuyasha: GET THIS THING OFF ME!

Jerry: No, you have a violence slash anger issue

Inuyasha: BUT THIS IS A VIOLENCE TV SHOW!

Jerry: yea… with …points at the gang and inuyasha each-other…

Inuyasha: ARRGGH!

Jerry: woah… uh… are you sure those are tight enough…?

Security: … I dunno…

Jerry: o.o… so… ok don't we have another guest?

Voice in the Audience: MU HA HA HA…

Jerry: Oo

VITA: Yes you dooooo said in like a deep trying to be scary voice

Jerry: --

Miroku?? OMG IT'S NARAKU!

Inuyasha: WHERE WHERE!

Miroku:…-- points the only one wearing a baboon outfit…

Inuyasha: oh… I knew that…

Jerry: ah ha! Naraku! Come on dowwwn!

Sango got her boomerang ready, Kagome put her arrow on her bow Miroku, stood up and put his staff in front of him, Inuyasha stood in front of everybody even though he was in a straight jacket, and Shippo …slept

Naraku: hallo!

Sesshoumaru: … btw Naraku did anyone ever tell you, you look ridiculous in that outfit

Naraku: not as ridiculous as you do in you flower pattern Kimono…

Sesshoumaru: … oh pishaw… in a gay manner

Naraku: OO

Sesshoumaru: what? … WHAT?

Jerry: OO uh… yes Naraku, explain exactly who you are, you didn't really give me anything to go by here… Tell us a bit about yourself and how you are involved…

Naraku: I need a place to sit first… scoochy… he sat himself in Miroku's chair making the monk nearly fall out of the chair how are you? grined

Miroku: frowns never been better Naraku…

Naraku: well my involvement is quite simple, you see, Miroku over here has this little hole in his hand, and he want's to kill me to get rid of it. Inuyasha there want's to kill me because I killed his girlfriend. Sango… uh… I don't know what's her deal… Kagome, is the reincarnation of his girlfriend, so she's annoying. Don't even get me started with the fox thing.

Shippo: snores loudly

Jerry: Ah so what do you think about Inuyasha and Miroku becoming a couple?

Naraku: I completely agree with Lord Sesshoumaru on this one, the monk is merely a toy and a rather fun toy at that…

Inuyasha: WHAT!

Kagome: OMG! MIROKU!

Miroku: ok I thought he was a girl… sorry

Inuyasha: WHAT? YOU DIDN'T SEE HIS PENIS?

Miroku: ok I was a little drunk…

Inuyasha: DRUNK ENOUGH NOT TO SEE HIS PENIS?

Miroku: OK I WAS ON THE EDGE OF UNCONSCIOUSNESS!

Inuyasha: smacks his head I can't believe this…

Jerry: ha this is interesting…So Miroku you have slept with every man on this stage, but none of the girls including Shippo who is really not worth mentioning at this point Shippo falls off Sango's shoulder still asleep

Miroku: more or less yes…

Inuyasha: so you don't love me…

Miroku: I never said that…

Inuyasha: how could you miroku? I loved you…

Naraku: god was he fun…

Inuyasha: SHUT UP!

Naraku: he is a screamer though… chuckle

Inuyasha: I SAID SHUT UP!

Sesshoumaru: Yes I have to agree…fun fun fun

Inuyasha: ARRRGH! brakes the straight jacket and leaps at Sesshoumaru who punches him ow…

Naraku: ooo… that's gotta hurt…

Inuyasha: leaps at Naraku ARRRGH

Naraku: woah!... COMMERCIAL BREAK COMMERCIAL BREAK!

Jerry: nah…

Inuyasha: strangles naraku YOU PUT YOUR FILTHY HANDS ON HIM! DIEEEEE!

Naraku: yes…uh if you couldn't kill me before what makes you think you can kill me now?

Sango: oh I give up… come on Kagome this lot is all screwed up…

Kagome: oh really I had no idea…

Miroku: WAIT DON'T LEAVE ME!

Sango: you are gross Miroku… yucky…

Miroku: WAIT SANGO!

Sesshoumaru: hold miroku back where do you think you are going?

Miroku: eh…

Inuyasha: TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF HIM!

Jerry: ok this is starting to be weird… and obviously we are loosing track… so … TIME FOR A COMMERCIAL!

camera shows inuyasha jumping on Sesshoumaru's back, Naraku nuzzling Miroku on the back of the neck, Miroku going OO, and Jerry straightening his suit and brushing his hair

commercial

dancing banana's for about 5 hours, then a tree commercial, advertising Miroku's condoms

Man 1: are you a tree?

Tree: yes…

Man 1: then buy sticks packet in front of camera MIROKU'S CONDOMS!

Tree: … how much are they paying you to do this?

Man 1: I'm supposed to get paid?

Tree: you're doing this for free?

Man 1: stomps off I THOUGHT YOU SAID NO ONE IS GETTING PAID AND YOU'RE PAYING A TREE AND NOT ME?

Director: hands up hey hey it was all his idea! points at Miroku

Miroku: wha? hears loud crash and someone purple run across the screen screaming and the man chasing him

Man 1: YOU GET BACK HERE YOU LIER!

cut commercial

camera shows audience clapping, Inuyasha sitting next to Miroku and glaring at him, Naraku sitting on the other side of Miroku and playing with Miroku's small pony tail, Miroku keeps slapping his hand but it doesn't' work, Sesshoumaru staring at the commercial

Jerry: shaking his head hopeless… Anyway welcome back! Some of our guests have left because they felt it was pointless to stay-

Sango: oh we're still here Jerry we don't want to miss this it's just too good…

Kagome: eating a doughnut, stops looks at the doughnut and throws it at Miroku take that!

Miroku: HEY! I thought you said they were out of doughnuts?

Kagome: oh the doughnut boy came and dropped some off a moment ago.

Jerry: Hey I just remembered! Have a seat everyone… We skipped the questions with the audience the last time. Well this time we aren't. Does anyone have any questions… spots a girl raising her had frantically Yes… goes to her and puts the mic in her face

Girl: yes my question is directed to Sesshoumaru-

Sesshoumaru: LORD SESSHOUMARU!

Girl: yeah… anyway… what kind of person just uses a human being like that and then humiliate him! I mean are you just some sort of mean idiot?

audience: hahaha

Sesshoumaru: And you miss, who might you be to ask such a question?

Girl: I'm Samantha…

Sesshoumaru: Well, Samantha, I am a demon, I treat you inferior humans as you might treat a filthy animal.

audience boooooooooooooooo

Sesshoumaru: SILENCE!

audience: O.O'

Sesshoumaru: Now… I could care less what happens to the monk, but my brother has demon blood in him, he should not degrade himself by falling in love with a mere human! A male none the less!

Inuyasha: WHY YOU- doughnut boy comes out of nowhere and hands him a doughnut, inuyasha looks at him, takes the doughnut and throws it at Sesshoumaru TAKE THAT!

Sesshoumaru: AH SUGAR! shields his face GET AWAY! kicks the doughnut and hits Miroku in the face

Miroku: YOU AND YOUR STUPID DOUGHNUT! takes the doughnut and throws it, misses and lands on Naraku's head, Naraku freaks out and throws the doughnut out the window

Kagome: what a waste of food…

Sango: she shakes her head slowly pathetic…

Jerry: Well…Um any more questions? spots a guy jumping up and down, obviously gay, and yelling "jeeeeeeerrrry!", Jerry goes over and holds the mic up to the guy.

Guy: … hehe… alright this question is to Miroku! giggles alright… did you every have sex with a girl? Or are you just interested in guys?

Miroku: Of course I've slept with women! And I love them...

Guy: hehe… ok I got another question…

Jerry: go on… sigh

Guy: giggles CAN I HUG YOU!

Miroku: … O.O uh… I don't know… I guess…

Guy: leaps out of his seat and runs to the stage and hugs Miroku crushing him, then whispers in his ear you wanna come back to my place after the show?

Miroku: WHAT! NO!

Guy: it will be loads of fun!

Miroku: GET OFF ME! SECURITY!

Guy: grabs miroku's face and kisses him u are just too hot giggles, and then gets dragged off stage I LOVE YOU MIROKU! blows him a kiss

Miroku: … ok I want out NOW!

Jerry: hold on there Miroku, remember what we signed on our little piece of paper…

Miroku: damn you Jerry…

Jerry: too late… ANYHOO! Ah yes another question! goes to a normal looking guy and holds the mic up to him

Normal Guy: Yes this question is directed to Miroku again-

Miroku: NO YOU MAY NOT HUG ME!

Normal Guy: uh… no that wasn't my question…Uh my question is that how come you slept with these men in the first place I mean did they force you or convince you some how? Did they make false promises or something?

Miroku: looks nervously at Naraku and Sesshoumaru who knew perfectly well what he was thinking Uh… Jerry must I answer?

Jerry: wags a paper, and smiling

Miroku: I hate you Jerry… he gets up and walks away from the two men watching him with daggers in their eyes… Well… Naraku is the one who forced me… Naraku got up and started walking towards him, Miroku backed away SECURITY HELP ME!

Jerry: oh didn't I tell you security is on break right now…

Miroku: WHAT! starts running around the stage with Naraku chasing him HELP ME!

Naraku: YOU WAIT TILL I CATCH YOU! YOU JUST WAIT!

Miroku: HELP INUYASHA!

Inuyasha: you slept with my brother… I aint gonna help you…

Miroku: INUYASHA! HE'S GONNA KILL ME!

Sango: oh come on Inuyasha, look at him… he looks pathetic being straggled in mid air like that… he didn't mean to sleep with him…

Miroku: aarr getting choked inu- alech..

Inuyasha: the thing that bothers be is that he can be persuaded some how, I aint gonna forgive him.

Miroku: a little help being lifted off the ground alllleechh… ah inu-ya..

Kagome: in a bored voice u know you should be pissed off at Sesshoumaru more… after all he's the persuader…

Jerry: looks from inuyasha to Miroku uh… you do realize he's being killed don't you?

Miroku: eyes close slowly helb be… allech … ahhh…

Inuyasha: … looks at Miroku bored, but when he sees Miroku's eyes closed he jumps up OMG YOU KILLED HIM!

Naraku: uh… shakes miroku aw crap…

Inuyasha: NO MIROKU! WAKE UP PLEASE WAKE UP!

Jerry: oh… waves arms in front of camera COMMERCIAL COMMERCIAL!

cuts to commercial

shows two men on the floor wrestling, one with a purple kimono and one with normal clothes

Man 1: I WANT MY GOD DAMN MONEY!

Miroku: aaahhh I DON'T HAVE IT!

Man 1: LIER! notices at the camera OO aw shit…

Miroku: looks at the camera, smiles and waves

Man 1: eh he… gets up and adjusts himself, and so does Miroku uh…

Miroku: … holds a packet in front of camera BUY MIROKU'S CONDOMS!

Man 1: … yeah!

commercial ends

camera shows 7 people sitting on stage, Inuyasha is sitting on the floor holding a dumb folded Miroku. Naraku is sitting on a chair next to Sesshoumaru who just stopped laughing his head off, and Sango and Kagome are giving him dirty looks.

Jerry: uh… welcome… I'm starting to think that it might have been a mistake to bring people from another era on the show…but since we're already here-

Miroku: you have pretty hair… pointing at Jerry's hair

Jerry: O.o

Inuyasha: shh Miroku…

Jerry: …um… how many brain cells has he lost?

Inuyasha: brain what?

Jerry: … stares… as I said since we're already here we might as well finish it.

Miroku: laughs hysterically then falls asleep

Sango: smack him, knock some sense into him….

Inuyasha: smack … wake up!

Miroku: huh? Wa?

Jerry: ok now this is just getting silly…Are there any more questions from the audience? stares Anyone at all…crickets chirp ok I'll give one hundred dollars for the next person to ask a question. chirping continues … ukh…

Miroku: I have a question!

Jerry: rolls eyes I mean anyone from the audience…not you, you dim wit…

Miroku: But I have a question!

Jerry: fine what's your question? You're not getting my hundred dollars though

Miroku: mumbles damn…This question is directed to Inuyasha…

Jerry: Just ask the stupid question.

Miroku: Inuyasha… he looks as if he is going to kiss him until, smack WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU SAVE ME YOU NUMB SKULL?

audience: HAHAHAHHAHAHAAA

Inuyasha: OW! WHY YOU LITTLE! security is back and drags him off of Miroku YOU WAIT AND SEE WHEN WE GET BACK HOME YOU WILL PAAAAY… voice fades

Miroku: gets up and brushes himself, and sits back down between Sango and Kagome

Sesshoumaru: Can we go now?

Jerry: sigh yeah…

Miroku: FINALLY!

All walk off the stage, the audience leave, Jerry sits there for about an hour staring at nothing, then leaves, the lights go out and it's pitch black, someone makes a noise in the darkness

Shippo: … hey… where did everybody go?... HEY! LET ME OUT! AH!


End file.
